PTO/Volunteer Organization Leadership Problems

[MomOnTheRun]

Hi,

Just looking for some advice here.  What do you do when you cannot get along with the leader of a volunteer group?  I'm the VP of the PTO at my kids school and I can't get along with the president.  She has driven several others off the board...

I'm torn between quitting ("I don't need this") and just dealing with it. 

Looking for advice.  Do I talk to the school principal?  Do I talk to her?  Do I talk to the other members of the board?

[VA Mom]

I faced a similar situation & I ended up leaving the PTO. In my case I was encouraged to run for Treasurer. I got along with everyone until I tried to follow proper $ handling procedures and tried to use common sense when it came to expenses. When the president withdrew $1000 without alerting me - I cut bait because that was a money / liability issue. I would not have quit otherwise.

Here's the thing, the PTO is there to help the parents & teachers... who should be working together for the betterment of the kids. If that mission is being acted on as a whole by the organization, then peronality differences can be worked out.

[Joe]

MomOnTheRun,

Thanks for sharing your problem.

Parents do you think there is a difference in the way the men and women approach these situations? 

Joe

[VA Mom]

I think that men are generally invisible in the PTOs. They do not participate.

I also think that when the rare thing occurs & men step up and show up to help with PTOs, they are questioned less when they make suggestions for organizational changes.

[MomOnTheRun]

I agree with Va Mom...with the caveat that men NEVER step up and make suggestions in our PTO...

[Jeanine]

MomOnTheRun,

How are things going with the situation?  How have you decided to deal (or not deal) with it?

- Jeanine

[MomOnTheRun]

Hi Jeanine.

It's still unresolved for now.  I guess I am kind of dealing with it by, not dealing with it directly.  I really want to remain involved for the sake of the school and kids. 

[VA Mom]

MomOnTheRun,

That's your best bet - focus on the kids and not the egos or obnoxiousness.

Sometimes, the PTO is the only chance for leadership that certain people have and they handle it poorly.

More tips:
-Remain neutral as much as possible
-A few well placed "How does this help our school / our kids?" can help re-direct circular conversations & petty argurments.
-Do not complain to anyone on the PTO... even if they're complaining to you. (Gossip happens...plus people will use what you said in private to them in order to advance their own agenda.)

Hppe that helps!